You’re an Ally, Not the Enemy
Effective leadership has a lot to do with mindset - the subtle ways we frame a concept in our minds. How are you framing your role as a leader in developing your team members?
I received a question this week from a client about holding direct reports accountable to implementing feedback and improving performance. It seemed that this leaders’s stance was to hesitate, resist or shy away from those conversations because they didn’t want to be perceived as the “bad guy.”
you are their ally, not their enemy
I responded with: “You are their ally, not their enemy.” Approach the conversation with that leadership mindset.
I didn’t need to explain how to have the conversation. If they approach it with the mindset that they are there to support their direct report’s development, the conversation will feel different to this leader and thus have a better tone and outcome for the team member.
Leaders, please remember, when you are working with others and holding them accountable to being on a learning journey and being their best selves, you are the ally, not the enemy.
This mindset will help you have compassion to couple with any necessary candor. And of course, taking a “coach approach” where you help draw out of your people the areas they see for improvement and growth will be the highest-leverage place to start!
An ally mindset toward your team members’ growth looks like this:
Communicate from a place of support
Check in frequently on progress
Offer feedback in an ‘unattached’ way
Be patient with repeating feedback on a two-steps-foward, one-step-back journey
The difference between an ally mindset and an enemy mindset is subtle. It’s just a matter of whether you feel slightly against the person due to their short-fallings. This subtle yet natural defensiveness is easy to slip into. Keeping yourself in an ‘ally mindset’ involves recognizing that: 1) no one is perfect, including you, 2) they won’t know what you’re needing or seeing unless you tell them, and 3) you can be a humble partner to your team on their development path.
