Shifting Your Leadership Style from Control to Influence
One of the unique challenges of being a consultant is that my team can change from year to year, depending on the projects I take on. As a consultant, this constant change pushes me to become more flexible and adapt my approach to each environment.
Working with a variety of people has taught me an important lesson: there’s a big difference between being a leader who chooses to influence and one who chooses to control.
An effective leader focuses on influence and collaboration, aiming for the team’s collective success. On the other hand, a leader driven by control often prioritizes self-interest and authority. I once worked with a leader focused on control, and it felt like power hoarding, as though they thought their decisions were always the best.
How can leaders like you move from controlling to leading? Here are three actionable steps:
Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t control your team, but you can create an environment that supports them. As leaders, our role is to influence and build situations where team members can thrive. Focus on what you can control: yourself, your communication, and creating clarity around expectations, goals, and deadlines. I remember feeling confused about a project because the expectations weren’t clear. The leader’s response was, “It needs to get done. I'll get it done; I’m a doer.” This lack of clarity left me unsure of how to move forward and frankly, embarrassed.
Use “We” Language
When leaders use “we,” it builds trust and shows the team their efforts matter. During one of my client meetings, the leader repeatedly said things like, “I created this” and “When I organized this...” This not only affected the team’s dynamic but also revealed to the client the disconnect between the leader and the team. It was awkward and demotivating to the people who had contributed to the project. Small language shifts, like saying “We accomplished this” can make a big difference in building shared ownership and team pride.
Integrate Team Ideas
It’s tempting to think your ideas are best, but a team thrives when everyone gets the opportunity to contribute. By listening to and integrating input from others, you show their ideas matter. This approach helps increase buy-in from the team and results in better outcomes. When you elevate your team’s ideas, you’re choosing to influence rather than control.
Choose to be a leader who prioritizes guiding and supporting your team to achieve something greater together.
