Working with the Elephant in the Room

Last week on the Friday evening version of PBS NewsHour, David Brooks of the NY Times and Jonathan Capehart of the Washington Post had their weekly conversation about the political and societal landscape, moderated by Amna Nawaz. This week Jonathan said something that resonated so true I had to share it with you:

We have to talk about it. Otherwise, we will never overcome it.

While Jonathan was referring to President Obama calling forth black men at a campaign office in Pennsylvania, I immediately thought of the teams I work with and the principle rang deeply true: We can’t overcome something that we can’t talk about. Elephants in the room that can't be named are a huge threat to the well being and productivity of any team.

When we teach teams to practice deep dialogue, we often introduce the parable "The Blind Men and the Elephant," which dates back to 500 B.C.E. 

In the parable, the blind men come across an elephant for the first time ever. Each person approaches a different part of the animal and is clear on their piece of the reality of what they were facing. But the group could only understand what they'd encountered by each sharing their piece and putting it all together into a holistic picture.

Many of the teams I coach have very complex work, especially those in the biotech field, as is Jonathan's example around societal race issues. In cases like this, the complexity isn't going to be solved for anytime soon It's going to be dealt with. Traction toward a better future state will happen incrementally over time.

In the fascinating article, Wicked Problems and Social Complexity, the case is made for dialogue being the key to addressing our most complex problems. Talking about the issue isn't all that is needed, of course. But if true dialogue does not happen, the team will talk in circles,  going nowhere at all.

Many aspects of the complexity that teams deal with are part of their landscape – out of the realm of their control, best treated like the weather. You might be thinking, if we can't change it, then what's the point of talking about it? 

Even when a team can't change the complex landscape in which it works, it does have the ability to change:

- the way it feels about the complexity

- the way it understands the complexity

- the way it responds to the complexity

- the extent to which it stays together as a team amidst the complexity

Teams can learn to 'hang out together' in the problem space of their work. It is a very powerful place for a team or community to learn to be, as it will influence their ability to change their relationship to the complex landscape as described in the list above. 

During the pandemic, I joined a Zoom-based podcast club through my kids' school. The podcast we listened to and discussed was Nice White Parents, about current racial integration attempts in NYC schools. At the very end of the series, I was struck by the school that was getting it right. They hadn't figured it out completely. They hadn't made the race problems go away, at least not yet. But what they were doing regularly was holding dialogue on the issue. And slowly starting to experience some coalescence and traction.

Talking about complex issues is essential to navigating slowly toward a resolution.