Seven Keys to Managing Up

I've been talking to clients lately about "managing up" - mindsets and strategies for maximizing their relationships with their boss. Here are the seven best ideas coming out of those coaching conversations.

If you struggle to relate to, feel comfortable with, approach or understand your boss, the information below may help. 

1. Remember, they are flawed human beings (too).
   This is first because it is a mindset that will support you with the strategies below. It is human nature to project omniscience onto authority figures, when in reality, your boss is  trying to figure out the best approach to their role, seeking clarity and contemplating the best way to do things. Your boss has weaknesses that you are likely at the mercy of, to some extent.

2. If you see a gap, ask yourself how it can be filled.
   Is filling this gap something you'd enjoy doing? If so, ask. Many bosses would love such proactivity from their team. If it's not really a gap, you'll learn this. If it truly is a gap, that probably means it's not a strength of theirs and they'd be happy to have a team where others compensate for areas they don't have energy for or interest in.
    

3. Ask for what you need.
   Your boss is not in your shoes, and therefore does not know exactly what you're experiencing when trying to execute on your role. If you need something to do, ask for it. That could be context, clarity, or direction on which area to focus. Don't let feeling like you should already know this stop you. If you must, you can name that. "You may have mentioned this early on, but it would help if you could refresh me on the context of this project."
   

4. Bring ideas, not complaints.
   You can certainly name problems that you see, but in doing so, bring constructive ideas, or at least hope, for a solution. Try to bring an attitude of "I wanted to think this through with you to see what we can do about it." If you're perceived as complaining, then you'll be perceived as part of the very problem you're trying to address.
   

5. Share what you see around you.
   Try to see yourself in a larger context and speak to that when possible. Speaking to dynamics (try to stick to neutral or positive framing) will help you hone and demonstrate your big-picture thinking, something many rising leaders are working on. You will show your boss that you're focused on how your role and your team sit in the broader organizational and business context.
   

6. Make your boss's life easier.
   Now, if you thought this was the other way around, that they were supposed to make your life easier by removing obstacles, you're not wrong. Best case scenario is when the mindset is active in both directions. They operate in their role at a different system-level view. Due to that, they may have different concerns and see different inputs and outputs to the work. Listen and give them what they need. If it is at serious odds with what you're able to produce, then it's time for a conversation (see #3). 
   

7. Remember, you're doing a good job
   Let's end with another mindset piece here. Many rising leaders want to know they are doing a good job. Who wouldn't!? Not every boss is inclined to tell you that. Which means you have a few choices. A) You can ask. B) You can take a "no news is good news" approach. C) You can look for ever-so-subtle hints. D) You can prepare well for the formalized times when you know you'll get feedback in order to squeeze more juice out of those. Your approach should depend on the circumstances and personality of your boss. In the meantime, if you're honest with yourself, you can probably assess relatively well based on how you're experiencing your role.

Please note, all of the advice above assumes a baseline level of maturity and emotional intelligence on the part of your boss. If you're in a situation where there is blatant disrespect, or worse, emotional abuse, the approach above will not work. 

Further, this all requires emotional maturity on your part. Do you have a ritual or an outlet for processing your own reactions and feelings so that they don't show up in your interactions? If you are regularly engaging in your "inner work" you'll find it much easier to align your behavior with productive “managing up.”