A Simple Way to Bring Focus and Calm to Important Meetings
Have you been in an important meeting during which you sat on the edge of your seat, trying to jump in at the right time, only to – when you finally do – get the floor swept away again by someone else? This is stressful and anxiety-provoking, and these emotions have the negative effect of impeding our best thinking.
For high stakes or potentially contentious conversations in a team, I often employ the council process as part of the meeting plan. It seems to have a certain, almost magical power to create authenticity, relaxed attentiveness, and team cohesion.
The council process is a group dialogue process in which the group sits in a circle (a U-shape will also suffice in conference rooms) and only one person is allowed to speak until they have finished. In many traditional cultures, a “talking piece” is passed from person to person to indicate who may speak. I have facilitated council in many teams and business groups – with and without a talking piece – and have witnessed its power firsthand. Because of its simplicity, you may be wondering what makes it so powerful.
COUNCIL ENABLES DEEP LISTENING
In council, the "rules of the game" are clear: the only one who can talk is the one with the talking piece. This can enable relaxed attentiveness in the listener. You can listen in a free way because you are not asked to respond. You may respond if you want to when it's your turn, but it may not be your turn until several other meeting participants have spoken.
SPEAKING FROM THE HEART IS EASIER
At the beginning of a council process, I often encourage participants to speak from the heart. Speaking from the heart is easier in council than in other processes because the rules empower one to do so. You get to decide when your turn is done, so you can take all the time you want to choose your words carefully and even think silently. This seems to bring out more authenticity and vulnerability among team members.
A COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS EMERGES
I say to groups, "Everything that needs to be said will get said, even if you're not the one who ended up saying it." Along those lines I also say, "After a while, it may start to feel like every voice is speaking a slice of the truth on behalf of the whole group." Which, as a member of the team, they are from the get-go, of course. It just sometimes takes a while to see it that way.
HOW TO INTRODUCE THE COUNCIL PROCESS TO YOUR TEAM
If you want to try the council process, you might have to justify it to your team at first: "Hey guys, we're going to try this thing we've never done before where we go around one at a time. There should be no questions or cross talk; please only speak when it's your turn. I know this is more structure than we're used to, but it will mean that everyone's voice is included in the conversation." Then, just go for it. It helps to have a question to prompt each person's sharing. A talking piece – especially one that has been chosen for its meaning to your group – can be very helpful in making the process clear to follow and run smoothly. It can be awkward to introduce a talking piece in a corporate setting, but you can just name that. A piece that brings some lightness and humor can also help.
Awkward or not, in the end, people will appreciate feeling heard and having the invitation to listen more deeply. The true connection that council enables is something we are all craving these days.
