Why I Chopped Off My Hair and What I Learned

Besides a few bobs, I've had long hair most of my life. I have spent years trying myriad ways to keep my hair out of my face, It might be a combination of having a relatively small forehead and a habit of slightly tucking my chin down that caused my hair to fall in my face very easily. Even just seeing it in my peripheral vision bugged me!

I played with my long hair when I was anxious. If I took the time to style it, then I spent even more time touching it because it felt so smooth. I was beginning to realize that my hair may be hold me back.

For the last five years or so, I've been intrigued by other women’s short hair styles. After months of thinking about it, finding photos of cuts I liked, and even testing out a short-haired wig under the guise of Halloween, I decided to go for it.

This represented a completely different strategy for keeping my hair out of my face. I wanted a style that would allow me to "set it and forget it!"

But the thought of doing this was scary. Would people treat me differently? Would I feel like myself? What if I hated it?

To this last point, with hair, the answer is easy: it'll grow back. But isn't that kind of true about anything new we try? If we don't like it, we can often go back in some form or another. Or things will evolve. It's all in flux.

But honestly, the scariest part was anticipating feeling different than I was used to. To deal with my fear of this change, I prepared.

I talked with my coach about what I could allow this outer symbol to usher in on the inside, both for my coaching mastery and for my business: maybe a bit more sass, maybe a bit less "nice." I found myself telling everyone I encountered that this would be happening.

And then I just did it. I got my hair cut this weekend and the result has felt fantastic. I feel lighter and more free. I still get surprised by my own reflection, which is pretty amusing. Change can be fun and exhilarating!

What I’ve learned from this experience is that I, like you, am multidimensional. People who meet me for the first time now may put me in a "short haired person" box. But they should not assume I don’t also have "long haired person" in my embodied identity. I am reminded, yet again, to be careful not to put others in boxes too quickly, or ever.

I have also learned that change isn’t as hard as we make it out to be. If we face the fear, explore what the change means for us, prepare for it, and give voice to it, the execution becomes a natural next step. And even if we don’t like feeling so different than we’re used to, it is still interesting and enlightening.

  • What part of yourself have you been intrigued about changing or exploring further? What will it take to try it out?

  • What goal has felt like banging your head against the wall and might be deserving of a completely different strategy?

PS - I sent in my 10” ponytail to Children With Hair Loss. Donating my hair gave me just the extra nudge I needed!

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