One Way to Make your Personal Changes Stick
I have a client who is working on being more assertive and direct in their leadership style. The ‘inner work’ aspect of this is ripe for coaching. There are many challenge to implementing this type of personal change, one of the hardest being to bring along those around you.
If your working on being a better human and leader, my recommendation is to share your intentions with your colleagues and team members. Don’t let this be a covert mission.
I know, it’s kind of vulnerable to share. However, it will serve you and help enable the shift and help it stick.
Leaders: sharing your development goals with your closest colleagues will serve you in three ways.
1) You will “own” them more because you voiced them out-loud to people who will notice.
There is so much power in saying something out loud (see blog on that here). It will increase your own ownership of your goals. It will help you imagine yourself from the perspective of your colleagues, which will increase your ability to objectively assess your behavior. In short, you up the ante on your own evolution, which will increase the likelihood that it sticks.
2) You invite your closest colleagues to flex their perception of you.
Patterns that play out between different personalities can get stuck. By saying “By the way, I’m working on not interrupting you in our 1-1s, please help keep me honest on that.” you invite your colleague to relax a view they might have had about your ability to listen or be respectful in a conversation. If they believe that you “always interrupt,” then by making your goals transparent, you’re explicitly interrupting that narrative. Of course, your behavior has to back it up. But if you don’t call attention to what you’re trying to change, they may not even notice. People look for data to support their stories, so they might only notice the times you slip back into your old ways. This is one example of confirmation bias.
3) You model courageous leadership.
By vulnerably sharing the ways you’re trying to be a better leader and human all around, you model courage. Those around you will see first hand that this self-awareness and growth mindset is part of effective leadership.
Try it today - share with a colleague one way you are working on being better.
