What an Interesting Thought!

One of the important milestones along the path to leadership wisdom that my clients often achieve in coaching is learning to observe their own thinking.

Last week, in a leadership coaching session, we were exploring the client's "inner critic." I observed that the words coming out of this leader's head were pretty harsh.

"Those are some mean things you're telling yourself!" I discerned.

"Yeah, I need to stop that." the leader responded.

"Well, it's a habit. You might not be able to stop it right away. The first step is to notice it happening and just not buy into it." 

"What do you mean, not buy into it?" they responded.

"Just because you have a thought, doesn't mean you need to believe it or agree with it."

Some leaders may find this idea unfamiliar. They might assume that their thoughts are inherently them and that they must accept them as true. Remember, leaders, you possess a ‘higher mind,’ capable of challenging your ingrained thinking patterns.  

Our patterned thinking is unconscious; our higher mind can decide how much merit those thoughts actually have.

Thoughts like:

• "They're such a jerk."

• "I have been busting my butt on this, by myself."

• "Can't they see how busy I've been?"

• "I am so stupid."

Positive thoughts, too, can also certainly be patterned, unconscious thinking. While usually less damaging, they can blind us to a more nuanced reality.

The next time you have a thought that is not helpful, say to yourself "Huh, that's interesting. I wonder what that is really about."

I often remind my leadership coaching clients – don’t over-identify with your own thinking. Rather, become an observer of your thinking, instead. Notice where it's productive, and where it's destructive. 

When assessing the quality of your work, do you include the quality of your thinking in that? 

And finally, to all of this, I say: no pressure! The first step is to just start to notice what's going on up there.