Are You ‘Othering’ Your Own Teammates?
One leader I coach has a contracted security staff that supports the safety of their operations. This organizational setup tends to create some 'us-them' dynamics.
The client, representing a leadership team, does not, in theory, want the us-them dynamics because, as you can imagine, it can create problems and slow results. This week during coaching, we touched on some ways that leadership might inadvertently be contributing to the us-them divide that is a subtle part of the culture at this company.
The security staff is supporting a special project that, for a couple weeks, is taking more of their time and attention. Employees are coming in on their days off. Lunch is being delayed by hours. Breaks and transition time have been shortened. And leadership hears about all this in the form of "complaints."
Why is this act of stepping up creating a sense of victimhood instead of a sense of pride among the team?
That is the key question leaders should ask themselves in a situation like this. Shouldn’t hard work feel good and rally a team together? This is a symptom of the us-them rift.
In this case, the team rallying around the challenge is not happening. Why?
Consider a combination of these factors:
They don't think anyone is noticing their extra efforts.
They don't agree with or understand the need for the extra work.
The complaints are real for them - they're tired or burned out.
Stepping back, aren't these all solvable by leadership? Leaders can:
Acknowledge the efforts of your people: "I see you coming in on your day off. I see you delaying your lunch break. Your hard work is showing. Thank you."
Have a conversation about the need for special circumstances. You have context and understanding that they don't. Share it. They may have a concern from their vantage point that you can't see. Listen.
Show them you've got their back, if they're truly burned out. If they’re simply tired, simply be a fellow human and be with them. "I get it, man. I'm tired too."
My leadership coaching client was inadvertently contributing to the 'us-them' mindset by putting these people 'over there' in his mind in reaction to the complaints. By 'over there' I mean he was making them 'other,' not like him or those on the leadership team. Some version of "They don't get it, so we will have to set them straight."
This can take some dedicated attention to notice, because it is subtle, because it is invisible. Another clue about the us-them mindset was that the complaints elicited a response akin to "fix them" rather than a response from curiosity, like "Where are we not understanding each other, and how can we bridge that gap?"
It's easy to 'other' someone, even teammates when they have an opinion that is at odds with our own. Effective leadership requires a higher mind to override this and engage with that teammate from a place of full respect for their sovereignty as an individual, the validity of their perspective, and ultimately the relatability of their experience.
