Three Techniques for Asking Powerful Questions

If you want to truly find out what your people are thinking about something, open-ended questions will get you there fastest. Even though you may feel like you’re meandering, the person answering the question is steering where they want it to go.

Open ended questions are questions that don’t inherently narrow down the field of answers. To contrast, closed ended questions are yes/no questions. That sounds easy, but there is a lot of gray in between open and closed ended questions, though, where you might think you’re asking in an open ended way but inadvertently leading towards the answer you want.

Here are three tips to keep your questions truly open.

1. Ask only “what” questions.
   Brand in your mind that when you ask a question, it starts with “what.” This will cover 99% of your questioning needs, and it’s ok to break a rule now and then. (“How” would be your next best bet).
   

2. Display “unattached energy”
   This is about the way you ask your questions. Are you hinging on a certain answer? If you find yourself feeling attached, take a breath. We can’t truly control others (that’s an illusion) and if you’ve chosen to step into a coaching role (see the many roles you play as a manager here) then you’ve already decided this is something appropriate for coaching. That means it is best for your direct report to figure it out for themselves.
   

3. After you ask, wait.
   If you’ve asked a good question, your DR needs time to think. That means there will be silence. Can you wait such that you are holding the space for them to do that thinking? They may not have thought this through before, so your question is bringing value already.
   
   Resist the urge to reiterate or reword the question. It’s probably not necessary, and it will interrupt their thinking.

These are three very simple techniques to remember when you step into a coaching role with your direct report and choose to inquire instead of advise. This is an empowering leadership style that, when used at the right times, will bring out the best in your people.

An esteemed colleague and I are teaching a 6-week training called Engage: Coaching Skills for Managers starting in September. We’re offering 15% off the enrollment price through July 31. We’d love to have you join us for this powerful leadership development opportunity.