Stifled by My Own Ambition

I remember a handful of times this spring when I connected with colleagues about feeling overwhelmed by the workload. I joked that I was "stifled  by my own ambition" as a way to articulate that I brought this on myself. The ironic image evokes laughter because the words seem incongruous. Why would anyone stifle themselves?

My ambition is an important part of me. It's a source of vitality and thus energy. However, when the ambition is left unchecked, I end up overcommitting, with obligations that eat away at any idle time. The feeling this has on a daily scale is one of a burden or heavy weight. Meaning, I lose my sense of choice. 

This may be part of the mid-life transition, where we accept that there is only so much we can do. I must remember that I do have a choice, and for bigger-picture reasons, part of that choice needs to include time that is deliberately unambitious.

If you, too, are at risk of being stifled by your own ambition, consider these questions:

1) What does 'less ambitious' look like for you?

Really, the question is ‘What is Enough?’  However, it's probably going to feel like "less ambitious" or even "lazy slacker."

2) Discern ambition as a habit from ambition towards a greater purpose.

It is perhaps human nature when we are lucky enough to have basic needs met, to drive towards achievement. Maintaining perspective around goals so that you can hit the brakes when you need a break.

3) Where and when is there a sense of freedom? 

Whether it's a certain time of week, a certain physical locale, or certain people, when and where is a sense of freedom and spaciousness. Lean into that.

Remembering that it's my own ambition that has me tied down brings a helpful perspective. It is something I can control if I can get out of my own way (or is it 'get in my own way' in this case?). What a privileged place to be.