Finding Space
There’s this one intersection in the next town over where I run a lot of my errands. You can go straight through the light, or you can turn slightly and loop around. If you know the light cycle well, you can “cheat the system” and save on wait time.
Several days ago, I thought I knew the time-saving option, but I got it backwards. So there I was, waiting at the light of the “loop around” option, watching all of the people whiz by who had been behind me and chosen to go straight.
My reaction was to do what I typically do - lament the waste of time and resolve to get this light cycle memorized. Then I said to myself, wait a minute. Aren’t I often so busy that I wish I had 90 seconds to just breathe? That’s what this is. So I took a few deep breaths. I felt better.
It’s like hurrying has become the default in our culture. I often hurry for no reason. I find myself telling my kids to hurry up and then I realize, “why?” We’re not even late.
This moment at the red light was a chance at some spaciousness, if I could only see it that way. Sometimes it seems like we just vacillate between running around too busy, and feeling bored or frustrated at wasting time when we finally have some space handed to us? My sense is we will need to recreate what a steady cadence feels like in order to stop ping-ponging between these two states of being.
Many of my leadership coaching clients are looking for more space right now. One way to get it is to take it when it shows up in our lives. Red lights are a great example. A colleague or client showing up late. Kids tying their shoes. Just breathe. We can literally rewire our brain if we take these micro-gifts of spacious time.
Sure, there are the other obvious things you can do to create more spaciousness, like saying no more often, meditating, blocking your calendar or clearing distractions, but this experience hit for me on something so essential: if I do not create spaciousness in my own head when the opportunity arises, then I will never achieve a feeling of spaciousness, no matter what else I do.
