3 Important Coaching Skills for Managers

Coaching is about facilitating a conversation that allows the client to access their best thinking, make new connections, and be empowered to take new action that will move them closer to a goal or unstuck from a problem. Coaching is a skill that managers can employ to engage their direct reports. Here are three coaching skills that managers can practice if they want to take a coach approach with their direct reports.

1. Unattached presence
   You probably care a great deal for your direct reports as people. If they confide in you about their struggles, you may be tempted to roll up your sleeves and do problem solving with or for them. Depending on the circumstances, that may be appropriate, but it would be not be coaching. With coaching, you are not solving their problem with them. You are supporting them in solving their own problem. You're present, meaning you're completely "with" them, but you're not personally attached to their problem getting solved. This is a subtle thing but it is probably the most important coaching skill.
   

2. Questioning for exploration
   Ask questions that get your direct report thinking about their problem in an expanded way. These should be open-ended, exploratory questions for the most part. Leading, quiz-style questions will not serve this purpose. Having an unattached presence will directly affect your ability to execute this skill. The questions should be client-centric, meaning they shouldn't come from your curiosity about any of the details they share (that would be more about you than them).
   

3. Deep listening
   Deep listening is about listening between the lines. It's about connecting dots with what they're saying in this moment with what they said a few minutes ago or last month. It's about listening for what they are not saying. It's about listening to the emotional undertones in addition to the words.
   
   It's worth your time to repeat back what you're hearing, even if that makes you feel a bit robotic, simply because it's super helpful to your direct report. If you want to also share what you're seeing on a deeper level, it may be helpful to ask permission first.

If you sincerely want to practice this, I recommend writing these three skills down somewhere that will be in front of you during your conversations with your reports. Then be patient, because it’s one of those things that is profoundly simple but not at all easy. 

It's not easy, but it's a worthwhile skill to develop as a manager. Your direct reports want to feel heard and empowered. You will give them this gift by being present without attachment, holding the space so they can gain understanding and insight, and listening deeply, which is a gift in and of itself. 

Including coaching in your approaches with your direct reports, when appropriate, will increase the value you bring as a manager, too. I love when things are a win-win.