The Power of the Preamble
One common topic I work on with leaders is communication effectiveness.
Leaders often express fear of being misunderstood. There is inherent pain in feeling misunderstood, and then there’s the unlikely but possible HR repercussions if an employee were to complain about a hard conversation gone awry.
To address these potential issues, it can be powerful to state your intention or preempt a defensive response, as a sort of preamble to your main message. This should be a quick half-sentence to help prime your listener to receive your message.
I used to think being direct and concise was most powerful. I was probably reacting against the person who rambles on and on. I myself tend to be short-winded and struggle to fill air time that falls to me. But I've come to appreciate how a short contextualization of what one is about to say can be so helpful in being understood the way you intended.
For example, if you need to ask an employee about a problematic behavior that was brought to your attention, you might start with: "This might be uncomfortable to talk about, and I'm here to support you. It's important for me to understand what was going on for you last week."
Or, if you're afraid they won't listen, you might say "I know what I'm about to say is not the prevailing opinion here, but hear me out on this."
A preamble can be useful if you anticipate any of the following:
defensiveness
being misunderstood or misinterpreted
a lack of psychological safety
a feeling of being blindsided
inability to soak in positive feedback
To put it simply, the preamble states what you're anticipating. If you expect defensiveness, your preamble might be "I know this might be hard to hear, and I want to be sensitive to that." If you expect to be misunderstood, you might say "I'm trying to be careful in how I articulate this so I can be clear, and my intent is to increase the trust between us." (Or whatever your intent is).
If you expect the other person to feel blindsided, you can say, "I know this might come as a surprise, and I’m happy to talk more about it after you’ve had time to process." Or if it's the person who can't hear positive feedback, you might say "I'm going to tell you what you did really well, and I want you to soak in the praise."
This communication tool isn't just useful for difficult conversations. It's also helpful in presentations to 'tee up' your listeners. "This data might surprise you..." or, "We understand our approach is countercultural, and you might be hesitant at first, but we will tell you why we think it’s the best approach."
Again, we're talking about a short, pointed sentence where you emotionally prime your listeners. A long meandering preamble will lose your listeners. Aim for a concise, intention-clarifying statement that will both perk up and soften your listener. Your message will be much more likely to land.
