Not into New Year's resolutions? Here's an alternative.
It might surprise you, being a leadership coach and all, that I feel pretty much "meh" about setting New Year's resolutions.
The problem with New Year's resolutions is that we tend to ask too much of ourselves too soon. Actual execution requires more time than we are prepared to allocate, and identity shifts for which we have yet to do the legwork.
If you share my blasé attitude, I want you to know there is still a way to harness the fresh energy that a new year brings without setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.
So the question is: how can you elicit improvements in your effectiveness, without spending extra time or jumping off the deep end with changes?
Focus on BEING, not DOING
My number one recommendation is to set a 'being' goal instead of a 'doing' goal. Who do you want to be in 2021? Is there someone you admire whose characteristics you want to embrace more? What qualities do you already possess that you want to embody more often? This really doesn't take any extra time, just some thoughtful attention.
I've set the intention that for the month of January, I am going to try to be more like my sister in law, Jennifer. I experience her as deeply kind, caring and warm. Truthfully, that feels pretty hard for me in my home environment these days. So I'm going to treat it like a temporary, month-long experiment. The temporary nature of this goal allows me to give myself permission to go out of my comfort zone.
Another way to weave in an improved version of yourself is to brand your year. For example, 2021 can be the Year of _______. Fill in the blank based on what or who you'd like to be more of. For me, maybe 2021 is The Year of Kindness. I'll need to do something to truly brand that concept into my mind so it stays with me. Perhaps I’ll post it on an index card taped to my monitor, or the lock screen on my iPhone.
Can you choose a ‘being’ goal for 2021?
Keep new DOING goals super tiny
If you really want to set a 'doing' goal, keep it TINY. Super tiny. And don't set the goal until you can plan exactly where in your daily or weekly rhythm it will fit, and what that allocated time will replace. The easiest (read: most likely to succeed) ‘doing’ goals are small upgrades to things you're already doing. I don't recommend 180-degree changes unless you're already experiencing a drastic change-of-life circumstance.
Let's work a common example here. If your New Year’s resolution is to "get in shape," then I want your goals to be more specific — the changes you are ready to implement that have leverage to achieve your vision. Pick three super tiny behavior changes, like this:
Reduce nightly glass of wine to a half glass
Drink a glass of water before getting a snack
20 minutes of walking on MWF with favorite podcast
These goals are so small they're hard to argue with. You still get your nightly adult beverage, you're just going to be ‘adulting’ at a slightly higher level by pouring less and cherishing it more. Bonus points for switching to tea one evening. Let’s deliberately keep the bar low so you can succeed and some days even surpass your goals. The trickiest goal in this example may be the 20 minutes of exercise three days per week if you've been rather sedentary. That may take some visualization and planning to figure out how to make it fit in your schedule.
New Year’s resolutions that are valiantly declared and unsustainably executed — not interested. But taking ideas that I actually do feel resolute about and branding them into my mind to infuse my everyday, along with making small incremental upgrades — I’m so into that.
