How I Learned to Lower the Bar
This morning I asked my husband to make my daughter's bed. He was resistant at first and I pointed out that it would only take 60 seconds. Later, when I went into her room, the bed was made, but not that well. Her decorative pillows were strewn about, not placed at the top of the bed. The sides of the blankets were not tucked under.
At first I was irritated “Why can't he do things like this with more care?” Then I tried empathizing. (Imagine that!) “He's focused on his work, and this just isn't that important to him. And half the time the bed stays unmade, so isn't this better than that? Maybe he's onto something and I need to half-ass a little bit more.”
Then I remembered an area of my life where I have learned to half-ass: vacuuming (in keeping with our domestic trend). I used to be so thorough that it would take me 30 minutes to vacuum one large room. I actually couldn't not be thorough. My brain just focused on the details and making sure I got behind every object I encountered. I had to shift my focus and set a goal of speed. Now I don't let myself take longer than 10 minutes.
I try to compare the room to what it was before I vacuumed, not what it would have been if I had taken the extra time to get those rarely-noticed spots. I actively remind myself that it is good enough. It’s funny - I actually have to say that to myself out loud! And here's the kicker: I'm more likely to do it again if it only takes ten minutes to get worthwhile good-enough results.
So on average, the floor is cleaner as a result of me lowering the bar. It’s kind of mind-boggling when I stop to think about it. Lowered bar = better long-term results? Yes.
This is not a new concept - I'm sure you've heard of "perfect" being the enemy of good.
Are you getting in your own way by being too thorough in areas where you could afford to be less?
Where can you lower the bar with little to no consequences?
Where would lowering the bar actually help you get consistently better results?
These are questions I explore in coaching with my clients. If these questions spark anything for you, I’d love to hear about it!
(Caveat to this whole thing! There are places where lowering the bar would not be the right choice. This involves discernment on your part. But for me, with too-high standards, lowering the bar in selective, low-consequence areas has actually helped bring me more of what I want.)
